Dear Pastors and Youth Pastors

• 2 out of 5 Teenage girls get pregnant
• Within the Hispanic population: 3 out of 5 Teenage girls get pregnant
• The Center for Disease Control reports that 47.8% of students have had sexual intercourse

Shocked? No? Check this out

• Teen childbearing costs the state of Texas approximately 1 billion dollars a year

• Nationally teen childbearing costs taxpayers at least 9.1 billion dollars a year (and we wonder why there isn’t enough federal money to help our kids go to college)

If those numbers still did not shock you, think of the lives of our teens

• The majority of teen mothers and children live in poverty
• Less then half of all teen moms DO NOT finish high school
• 8 out of 10 teen fathers DO NOT marry their baby’s mother (think of how many of our teens have said, “I love him and we’ll be together forever”)

Unfortunately, many people who read these statistics will still not be shocked. For many families, schools, and churches, this tragedy of teen sex and teen pregnancy has become a normal part of life. The bar of expectations for our students has lowered over the years. Where we use to dream of our children becoming doctors, lawyers, and teachers, we now just pray for them to “at least” finish high school before they get pregnant.

If there was one phrase in the English language that I wish I could erase, it would be the phrase “at least.”

- “well, he may not be passing, but at least he’s in school”

- “he may not be a very good kid, but at least he’s not in jail”

- “she had a baby at 15, but at least she is finishing high school”

If we expect the very least from our kids, that is what they are going to give us.

What is wrong with having higher expectations for our kids? The Lord says in the book of John that He came to give us life and life to the fullest! Life Abundantly! In Jeremiah He promises us plans to prosper us and give us a hope and a future. Our teens need to know that God has great plans for their life, but if they decide to become sexually active, they are putting those plans in jeopardy. We know that God can work in any circumstance and in anyone’s life, but it is clear in 1 Thessalonians 4:3, “God’s will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin.”

So as a church, how do we effectively reach our teens and help them to remain abstinent until marriage, thus avoiding the negative consequences that accompany teen sex?

We need to have good, open communication with our kids

Some people still have a difficult time hearing the word “sex” mentioned in church. But we need to find a proper way to give our kids appropriate, biblical knowledge on the subject of sex. We need to let them know what God’s plan for a sexual relationship is and why it is important to keep that relationship within the HOLY bonds of marriage.

We need to give our students resources and tools to help them say NO

It’s not enough for us to say, “God says not to have sex until marriage.” All of our children are receiving messages from movies, music, internet, friends, and sometimes even school teachers that is completely opposite of God’s word. They need help to fight against these messages. They need lessons they can apply to real life situations. They need guidance and examples of what a healthy relationship looks like. And, they need tips on how to have holy dating relationships.

We need to empower parents

I have been working as an abstinence educator for over 8 years. I have had the opportunity to speak to many people on this subject. However, to this very day, my parents have never told me where babies come from. I never had “the talk” with my dad. I think many parents are afraid to talk to their kids about sex. For so long, this subject was seen as inappropriate and embarrassing. So, many parents, like mine, happily signed the permission slip for their kids to learn about sex from their school. But, as many of you know, our schools are not doing an appropriate job in instilling morals, healthy choices, and the idea of choosing abstinence as the healthiest choice for your life into our kids. The world is filling the minds of our teens with ideas that go against God’s plan for sex. It is time that parents take back the responsibility of teaching their children about sex, and boldly and appropriately let them know that God created sex for our enjoyment within a holy and sanctified marriage.

MAKE A DIFFERENCE

If you and your church want to make an impact in the lives of teens, you want your kids to make a commitment to abstain from sex until marriage, and you want to improve communication between kids and their parents, then I want to help. Go to http://www.davidnatividad/ and check out the workshop “Raising the Bar of Expectations." If you would like to bring this workshop to your church, or if you have any questions, please contact me

David Natividad

david@yourswbc.com